The Delight (And Sometimes Grief) Of New Experiences

A few weeks ago I was having a coffee date a good friend. While queuing up, my friend told me I HAD to try the almojábanas or Columbian cheese bread. I will admit, they didn’t look all that appetising, but she insisted I HAD to try one. Reluctantly, I added one to my order. 

A few minutes later it arrived. I bit into it. Oh my goodness. The joy of this unassuming cheese bread was purely astonishing. I found myself giggling with delight. This little piece of bread was so delicious! The taste profile was balanced perfectly – it was buttery, salty, sweet and cheesy. 

As my friend and I savoured our bread, making it last as long as possible, I suddenly exclaimed, “Isn’t it wonderful to know there is still so much to discover and experience in our life? We still have so many ‘first times’ yet to experience and delight in?” 

That piece of cheese bread made my whole week. It cost only $4.50. It was humble. Yet, the delight and joy it brought was immeasurable. 

And yet… thoughts and feelings have a way of stacking on top of each other. Just as I was feeling joy, I also felt a sense of grief. I knew that the surprise of this new discovery was fleeting and after I finished eating this piece of bread, that particular feeling would never be experienced again, in that same way.

A week later I baked a batch of my own, leaving one on the doorstep of my friend. (When she found it she texted, “Ooooooooohhhhh yeahhhh baby. Way to my heart.”) A fortnight later we returned to the cafe for more. As I had previously expected, the surprise element was no longer there, however, to my delight the joy lingered on.

The lesson that hit home when reflecting on the experience is that finding joy in new experiences doesn’t need to be extravagant. It doesn’t need to be expensive. It can be found in unexpected ways. My role in this discovery of joy is to listen and be open, and then be fully present in the savouring of it. In this particular case, I could have said no. I was going to, as the almojábanas didn’t look all that inviting at the counter. Thankfully, I accepted my friend’s invitation to try this new thing.

In terms of grief, sometimes we hold ourselves back from new things and from joy, as we want to avoid the uncomfortable feelings that come with the ‘what happens when it’s over’. 

Where have you found joy in new experiences?

I invite you now to have a think about the last time you found joy in finding something new, and then ask yourself questions about the experience. The purpose is to consider if you are being fully open to the experience and noticing the impact it has on and within you.  

Think back to the last time you found joy in trying something new? 
How did it make you feel? Was it just joy or were other more complicated feelings there too – ones that maybe you suppressed?
In the experience of joy, were you present to it? Did you let the joy soak into your being? Did you honour the experience as the precious gift it was?
Were you with others in this experience? Did you connect with each other in this shared experience?

This one raw and precious life of ours is primed for joy. Our job is to say yes to experiences that have the potential for joy, and when we find it, to fully receive it, experience it, let the joy flow through our whole being. Fully connect with this feeling. And if we’re experiencing it with other people, to connect in with each other as a shared experience.

You might be surprised with thoughts that arise to sabotage the joy feeling. If they do, witness those thoughts as an observer – that is, see yourself as removed from the thoughts – seeing them, but not buying into them. 

There is great joy to be found in new experiences, and there are unlimited opportunities for this to occur. The trick is to be open and you might just find them in the most unlikeliest places. Like a $4.50 piece of bread.